The Loneliest Number
by Grav
Summary: Two can be as bad as one. Jacob Alphabet Soup Fic: U is for uniform, undercover, underground


AN: I have had this idea for a while, actually. The first time I tried to write it, it turned into "The Better Part of Valour", which was unintentional to say the least. This time, however, I think I've managed to wrassle it into shape!

This fic is written for the Jacob Carter Alphabet Soup Challenge: _U is for underground, undercover, uniform_. I'll let you figure out which ones I am using.

Spoilers: Evolution Part II

Disclaimer: Not mine! And the song is apparently by Harry Nilsson.

Rating: Kid friendly

Summary: Two can be as bad as one.

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**The Loneliest Number**

_One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do_

The stolen uniform fit him perfectly, which made him terribly uncomfortable. In vain, he wished it would chafe or bind or look too tightly drawn across the shoulders, but it did none of those things. He looked as trim and fit, as Ibelonging/I in his costume as he did in his regular clothes. Which was, of course, precisely why they'd chosen him for the mission.

_Jacob didn't see a lot of field work any more. Ever since the System Lords had not been assassinated while they sat in Summit, the other Tok'ra had viewed him as defective. It was annoying. None of the other human races who lived as hosts were looked down on for retaining characteristic traits of their species. Jacob had the most developed espionage skills of any host, but none of the Tok'ra could see past his Tau'ri nature. Selmak told him it would get better as their blending matured, but Jacob hadn't made it this far in life to go back into cadet probation._

He could think on his feet. He spoke the language. He met the basic physical requirements. He wouldn't pass for a native if anyone looked to closely or inquired after his opinion of local sports, but the whole idea was that he looked enough the part that no one would give him a second glace. The mission does not technically exist. There will be no hero's welcome waiting for him at home, and he tries not to think of what awkward lie they would tell his family if he does not return.

_Selmak doesn't like closed in spaces. Which is sort of funny, because the Tok'ra have lived almost exclusively in caves or star ships for several centuries now. As the helmet closes around there head, Jacob feels the beginning of a panic that was never his, but it's quickly banished._

_"You okay?" he asked._

_"I'd be better if you hadn't insisted on that second cup of coffee this morning" she returns. Selmak reacts badly to caffeine, but Jacob has access to it so rarely that he feels compelled to indulge himself now and then._

_"You can sit this one out, if you like." He offers._

_"Very funny." She replies. And then it's time to go._

It almost looks like home. Children play, cars go past at unruly speeds, and young people walk hand in hand as though they hadn't a care in the world. Only the signs belie the comforts of home. The Cyrillic letters are an alien language to him, even though he's spent all this time learning it; it never feels right. He sits alone on the bench and waits, still and calm, for all the world knows, he is a local, a soldier returned for furlough before heading off again. He tries not to twiddle his thumbs.

_They greet him the moment he steps through the Gate and take him to a room he cannot help but want to call a holding cell. Selmak's discomfort, caffeine fueled and bubbling, seems even closer to the surface now, despite her attempts to mask it. It makes him antsy. They wait, barely moving, until Thoth leaves them alone. Now, at last, it is time for action, to discover what's to come. When they are engaged, it is easier to focus on the mission, easier to play their part. Sitting alone with each other provides too many distractions._

This is his last mission like this. He's been promised State-side only, and he'll probably be backing it up with a promotion, though no one will talk about the reasons why. They couldn't tell him for sure, of course, but he got where he was by knowing how to read a room. He'll still serve, but he'll stay with his family and be a smaller kind of hero. No more travel, no more spying, no more facing obtuse wars by himself. He doesn't know what the future will bring, but it will be a quiet one, if he has any say in it.

_Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one_

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**fin**

Gravity_Not_Included, August 23, 2009

AN: Selmak is always female in my stories, because that's what she was when we met her. Also, I think it's funnier that way. :)


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